Opening Ceremonies

The 2010 Gay games start in Cologne  on July 31^st with the opening ceremonies. My very first Gay Games competition was in 1990 in Vancouver, Canada. I was 20 years old, and I had just come out to my Mom the year before. I remember having to tell my Aunt and Uncle who lived in Vancouver that I would like to stay with them because I was coming there to participate in the “Gay Games.” They were cool, and totally understood my implication without asking too many questions.

At that time, I was still struggling to become completely okay with my sexual orientation. That’s why I will never forget the moment I walked into the stadium during the parade of athletes during the opening ceremonies. I had never been around so many people like me. And after years of torment, to witness a stadium full of spectators cheering for me was unbelievable; and to this day, the sensation is still completely indescribable. All I ever tell anyone is that I was literally moved to tears.

Ever since then I have been an avid supporter and participant of the Gay Games, having swam in every single successive competition in New York, Amsterdam, Sydney, and in Chicago where I had a life-changing moment. I swam the breaststroke leg on a 4 X 50 meter medley relay that set the national record. We were only .8 seconds off the world record. And it was even more amazing because my Mom had traveled all the way from Seattle to be there in the stands to cheer me along and to watch me swim!

I have actually been a competitive swimmer since I was six years old. Throughout these many years, I have enjoyed swimming because, even though I now swim with a team, it’s actually a very solitary sport. I’ve never really had to fear teammates’ homophobia too much. I always knew that as long as I was a good swimmer, I would always be respected. And it is for this reason that the Gay Games are so important. All athletes of all levels of competition and sport from all around the world support each other in a way that I have never experienced at any other sporting event.

Since that first week in Vancouver nearly 20 years ago, I have managed to win at least one gold medal at every one of the competitions; though they get bigger and faster each time. My favorite games have been the ones outside of the United States because they attract more international athletes, which is also why I’m so excited about the upcoming games in Cologne, Germany. I swim with Team New York Aquatics (TNYA.org) and for the last 6 months I’ve been swimming at least 1.5 hours a day and lifting weights at the gym. Lately I’ve been running 5 miles a day to get my weight down. At 6 feet tall I weigh about 200 pounds and that’s a lot of weight to lug up and down the pool. It’s a lot of work for 8 events that all last less than one minute each.

The amazing thing about the Gay Games is that they encourage people of all abilities and shapes and sizes to participate. They also send a powerful message to the world about breaking away from gay stereotypes because we gays kick some serious ass!

As I mentioned above, for the upcoming games I’ve been training pretty intensely. I actually just returned from the US Nationals where I finished pretty closely to some of my all-time best times. And as a result of all of this training and competing, I do hope to come back from Cologne with some hardware, though it’s really more about the competition and the experience for me; I love meeting other athletes from around the world.

The swimming competition at the upcoming Gay Games in Cologne is six days long, so I’ll be pretty focused on that during that time. But afterwards, I’ve always enjoyed watching other sports competitions, and I hope to get that chance this year. You really haven’t lived until you’ve seen same-sex pairs of figure skaters and synchronized swimmers. It’s amazing! I hope to see you there but I will be recapping my experience with lots of photos when I get back.

Go team New York!!

HIV research is undergoing a renaissance that could lead to new ways to develop vaccines against the AIDS virus and other viral diseases.

In the latest development, U.S. government scientists say they have discovered three powerful antibodies, the strongest of which neutralizes 91% of HIV strains, more than any AIDS antibody yet discovered. They are now deploying the technique used to find those antibodies to identify antibodies to influenza viruses.

Mark Schoofs discusses a significant step toward an AIDS vaccine, U.S. government scientists have discovered three powerful antibodies, the strongest of which neutralizes 91% of HIV strains, more than any AIDS antibody yet discovered.

The HIV antibodies were discovered in the cells of a 60-year-old African-American gay man, known in the scientific literature as Donor 45, whose body made the antibodies naturally. The trick for scientists now is to develop a vaccine or other methods to make anyone’s body produce them as well.

That effort “will require work,” said Gary Nabel, director of the Vaccine Research Center at the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, who was a leader of the research. “We’re going to be at this for a while” before any benefit is seen in the clinic, he said.

The research was published Thursday in two papers in the online edition of the journal Science, 10 days before the opening of a large International AIDS Conference in Vienna, where prevention science is expected to take center stage. More than 33 million people were living with HIV at the end of 2008, and about 2.7 million contracted the virus that year, according to United Nations estimates.

Vaccines, which are believed to work by activating the body’s ability to produce antibodies, eliminated or curtailed smallpox, polio and other feared viral diseases, so they have been the holy grail of AIDS research.

The Quest for a Vaccine

Last year, following a trial in Thailand, results of the first HIV vaccine to show any efficacy were announced. But that vaccine reduced the chances of infection only by about 30%, and controversy erupted because in one common analysis the results weren’t statistically significant. That vaccine wasn’t designed to elicit the new antibodies.

The new discovery is part of what Wayne Koff, head of research and development at the nonprofit International AIDS Vaccine Initiative, calls a “renaissance” in HIV vaccine research.

Antibodies that are utterly ineffective, or that disable just one or two HIV strains, are common. Until last year, only a handful of “broadly neutralizing antibodies,” those that efficiently disable a large swath of HIV strains, had been discovered. And none of them neutralized more than about 40% of known HIV variants.

But in the past year, thanks to efficient new detection methods, at least a half dozen broadly neutralizing antibodies, including the three latest ones, have been identified in peer-reviewed journals. Dennis Burton of the Scripps Institute in La Jolla, Calif., led a team that discovered two broadly neutralizing antibodies last year; he says his team has identified additional, unpublished ones. Most of the new antibodies are more potent, able to knock out HIV at far lower concentrations than their previously known counterparts.

HIV is a highly mutable virus, but one place where the virus doesn’t mutate much is where it attaches to a particular molecule on the surface of cells it infects. Building on previous research, researchers created a probe, shaped exactly like that critical site, and used it to attract only those antibodies that efficiently attack it. That is how they fished out of Donor 45 the special antibodies: They screened 25 million of his cells to find 12 that produced the antibodies.

Donor 45′s antibodies didn’t protect him from contracting HIV. That is likely because the virus had already taken hold before his body produced the antibodies. He is still alive, and when his blood was drawn, he had been living with HIV for 20 years.

While he has produced the most powerful HIV antibody yet discovered, researchers say they don’t know of anything special about his genes that would make him unique. They expect that most people would be capable of producing the antibodies, if scientists could find the right way to stimulate their production.

Dr. Nabel said his team is applying the new technique to the influenza virus. Like HIV, influenza is a highly mutable virus—the reason a new vaccine is required every year.

“We want to go after a universal vaccine” by using the new technique to find antibodies to a “component of the influenza virus that doesn’t change,” said NIAID director Anthony Fauci. In principle, Dr. Fauci said, the technique could be used for any viral disease and possibly even for cancer vaccines.

Some of the new HIV antibodies discovered over the past year attack different points on the virus, raising hopes that they could work synergistically.

In unpublished research, John Mascola, deputy director of the Vaccine Research Center, has shown that one of Dr. Burton’s antibodies neutralizes virtually all the strains that are resistant to the antibody from Donor 45. He also found the reverse: The antibody from Donor 45 disables HIV strains resistant to one of Dr. Burton’s best antibodies. Only one strain out of 95 tested was resistant to both antibodies, he said. Dr. Mascola is one of the authors of Thursday’s papers.

Researchers say they plan to test the new antibodies, likely blended together in a potent cocktail, in three broad ways.

First, the antibodies could be given to people in their raw form, somewhat like a drug, to prevent transmission of the virus. But they would likely be expensive and last in the body for a limited time, perhaps weeks, making that method impractical for all but specialized cases, such as to prevent mother-to-child transmission in childbirth.

The antibodies could also be tested in a “microbicide,” a gel that women or gay men could apply before sex to prevent infection.

The antibodies might even be tried as a treatment for people already infected. While the antibodies are unlikely to completely suppress HIV on their own, say scientists, they might boost the efficacy of current antiretroviral drugs.

Dr. Nabel said that the Vaccine Research Center has contracted with a company to produce an antibody suitable for use in humans so that testing in people could begin.

A second way to use the new research is to stimulate the immune system to produce the antibodies. Jonas Salk injected people with a whole killed polio virus, and virtually everyone’s immune system easily made antibodies that disabled the polio virus. But for HIV, the vast majority of antibodies are ineffective. Now, scientists know the exact antibodies that must be made—those found in Donor 45 and in Dr. Burton’s lab, for example. So researchers need “a reverse engineering technology” to find a way to get everyone to produce them, said Greg Poland, director of vaccine research at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn.

That’s what scientists at Merck & Co. have done. In a study published this year in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the Merck Scientists knew that an old antibody, weaker than the newly discovered ones, attaches to a particularly vulnerable part of HIV. They created a replica of that piece of the virus to train the immune system to produce antibodies aimed at that exact spot. It was a painstaking process, requiring researchers to add chemical bonds to stabilize the replica so that it wouldn’t collapse and lose its shape. Eventually, Merck was able to make experimental vaccine candidates capable of spurring guinea pigs and rabbits to produce antibodies that home in on the target site and neutralize HIV. Those vaccines weren’t nearly powerful enough, but, said Dr. Koff, Merck’s research provides a “proof of principle” that reverse engineering can work for the much stronger new antibodies.

There are other potential pitfalls. There is evidence that Donor 45′s cells took months or possibly even years to create the powerful antibodies. That means scientists might have to give repeated booster shots or devise other ways to speed up this process.

Finally, there are experimental methods that employ tactics such as gene therapy. Nobel laureate David Baltimore is working on one such approach.

His team at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, Calif., has stitched genes that code for antibodies into a harmless virus, which they then inject into mice. The virus infects mouse cells, turning them into factories that produce the antibodies.

PHOTO: FRANKLOUIS.COM

Q: How are you Jack?

A: Doing good lady! You’re fabulous as usual. And by ‘fabulous I mean ‘hot tranny mess”.

Q: So where are you from originally?

A: Seattle, Washington. Pretty but dreary. The lesbians love it. Lots of fleece.

Q: What was it like for you growing up gay?

A: Well it was not so fun. I was very effeminate and I got picked on a lot and beat up in high school. But deep down I knew there was another life waiting for me. I just had to find it. Ugh that sounds so Wizard of OZ.

Q: How has life and your career been post project runway?

A: Really amazing. I think people have this misconception that if you go on a successful reality show that magically your life automatically becomes fabulous and you are a superstar. That couldn’t be more false. Viewers have about a 3-6 month memory and then they are onto the next show. Project Runway was really just a medium for exposure. Plus we had no control over how we were portrayed or received by the public. The real work comes after the show when people have forgotten about you. I could have easily gone back to being a designer at a very good job but I decided to run with the opportunities that came my way.

Q: Do you keep in touch with anyone from the show?

A:Yes. Most of them actually. My best friends are Christian Siriano, Kevin Christiana and Kit Scarbo, known as Kit Pistol on the show. I keep in touch with most of the others but we are not close friends. And I know several of the designers from the other seasons. I’m slated to be the official blogger for the upcoming season. We shall see…

Q: Any men in your life?

A: Not really. At least not for very long. (wink) I’m working on it. I am so busy and I travel so much that it would be hard to have a boyfriend right now. I want one but I have a feeling he would resent me for ignoring him. Anyone feel free to email me with a headshot and resume.

Q: What do you look for in potential love interest?

A: Good Credit.

Seriously, I am REALLY attracted to talent of any kind. He would also have to be totally cool with the HIV thing. It needs to be a non-issue whether he is + or -.  My eyes tend to dart to tattooed, swarthy muscle-boys but none of my x-boyfriends look like that so go figure. I also have a shaved head fetish.

Q: If you weren’t doing fashion what other artistic medium would you like to do?

A: I do a lot of them. I throw pottery on the wheel, I paint, I knit, I make sculptures. Right now I’m REALLY interested in video editing. I can’t cook and I can’t do anything having to do with music. I sing like a screeching howler monkey.

Q: What do you think of drag as an art form?

A: I think it’s amazing. I’m a huge fan of drag performers. They are severely underappreciated. I’m currently producing a web series called The Queens of Drag: NYC. It’s like a Real Housewives format except the cast is actually talented. We have all the fiercest ‘girls’ from New York—Lady Bunny, Sherry Vine, Bianca Del Rio, Hedda Lettuce, Peppermint and on and on….It’s set to launch on June 21^st.

Q: Would you ever do drag for fun or for show?

A:I used to do drag on occasion on Halloween or for Wigstock back in the 90’s. But as a designer I like to go big so I invest a lot of time in making my outfits. I just don’t have the time anymore. Plus I’m too muscular and I end up looking like a line backer in a tube top.

Q: I hear you’re quite the athlete… Care to elaborate?

A: HAHA. Yeah. I’ve been a competitive swimmer since I was 6. I train about 5 times a week in the pool and lift weights about 6 times a week. I just swam at Nationals in Atlanta last month and I am currently training for the Gay Games in Cologne, which starts at the end of July. I’m gonna come correct.

Q: Who is your dream client?

A: HMMMM. Its cliché to say Lady Gaga because everyone wants to design for her now, but she’s amazing because she wears art and she is not concerned with looking pretty like so many celebrities. I don’t have a dream client. Maybe Linda Evangelista just because I worship her. Or Alec Mapa because she’s just a wisp of a girl.

Q: What are you currently working on?

A: Well I’m still designing but on a commission only basis. I’m producing the drag show I mentioned before. I also just shot a pilot called “Who Wore It Best” for the Oxygen network so I’m waiting to hear about that. I’m writing a book that I hope to finish by Christmas. I do a radio show on Sunday nights at 9 PM EST on blogtalkradio.com/POZIAM where we talk about HIV issues. And I travel all over the country speaking at colleges and events about HIV education and my personal experience living with HIV for 20 years. I blog. I do photo shoots. Oh yeah. And I swim. A lot. There’s probably some more stuff in there somewhere. It’s a sketchpot that changes on a daily basis.

Q: What is the most important issue facing the LGBT community today in your opinion?

A: Equal rights. Though all issues are important.

Q: Do you think gay men have become apathetic about HIV?

A: I think it’s a generalization but in many cases yes. If you lived through the devastation of the 80’s and 90’s you tend not to be apathetic. But since the stigma of being HIV+ is so intense, many people will not disclose their status. We don’t hear about HIV like we used to. Since treatments are so much better than they used to be I think the fear factor has dissipated. It’s still a potentially fatal disease with no cure. There are people like me who are doing very well but there are also many people who really struggle and are still dying of AIDS.

Q: Do you think we need all the letters? Like LGBTQQIA Etc.? I’m confused maybe we should add a C for confused.

LOVE IT!!  I have know idea what most of those letters stand for, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Androgynous?  Just use the entire alphabet. It’s easier to remember because of the cute melody associated with it.

Q: Michael Kors… Brilliant designer: or sassy contest judge? I find his fashions to be…kinda scary SHHHH don’t tell him I said that!!

A: He’s fine. He was the best judge from a technical standpoint because he understands how difficult the garments are to make. Plus he is the queen of sassy sound bites and the producers LOVE that. I think he is a good designer. It’s ironic that Project Runway beats you over the head about innovation and Michael is so mass market. But his clothes are really beautiful.

Q: Do you see yourself as a role model?

A: Yes. I feel a responsibility now that I didn’t feel before. I know from facebook messages and emails that a lot of people really look up to me. So I’m quite conscious of that.

Q: What would you say to an aspiring artist of any orientation who feels they can’t achieve their dreams? So many artists face the scrutiny of naysayers. What say you?

Well my theory is that if you absolutely love something enough to sacrifice for it then you will probably be successful. Nothing comes easily like you see on TV. You have to work your ass off. But if you are willing to do that and persevere when countless people tell you “no” then you will achieve some degree of success—whatever that means.

Thanks Jack for “sitting down for a chat” and thank you for being a role model. I wish I had someone like you to look up to when I came out as a teenager and I’m so glad that we have amazing people like you to give the LGBT youth of today people they can not only be proud of but aspire to follow. You’re not just a handsome guy but also a dynamic artist and a brave man whose overcome challenges and adversity to follow your dreams and I personally want to thank you! You rock!

To contact Jack or find his fashions please go to Jackmackenroth.com.

If you are a opposite-gender lover you may not know this is Gay Pride Weekend in New York. You should come join the party! But first, here are a few things you need to know before joining the fun.

If Halloween is Gay Christmas and the Oscars is the Gay Super Bowl, then Pride is Gay Fourth of July. There are picnics and fireworks and lots of drinking and it’s all about freedom! Pride isn’t really one single occurrence. Much like Mardi Gras in New Orleans, it is a collection of parades, rallies, parties, private events, functions, fundraisers, and bead throwing. So, one doesn’t so much “go to Pride” as one “does Pride.” Every gay observes it differently, but it really is the one time of the year when all the leather daddies, bull dykes, twinks, alternaqueers, trannies, drag queens, femmes, circuit boys, bois (who are actually girls), and all the other wonderful gay archetypes rub elbows in a giant celebration of living somewhere over the rainbow.

While the day is all about being gayer than Liza Minnelli singing “Single Ladies” in a Sex and the City movie, we love it when our straight allies come out and lend their support. If you want to join in, here are some handy tips to keep in mind.

• The first Gay Pride parade was really a march through the streets of New York to protest the unfair treatment of gay men by police at the Stonewall Inn in 1969. We now mark the infamous Stonewall Riots every June with a parade through town. It is no longer very political. It’s mostly about corporations telling us that they’re “down with the gays” and an excuse for gay people party. Don’t judge us.
• In New York, the major event is the Gay Pride March, which goes down Fifth Avenue in Midtown before snaking through Greenwich village before stopping at Christopher Street, where the Stonewall Riots took place. The people who go to the parade are out-of-towners, the very young, the very old, every lesbian who lives in the suburbs, and straight people. Please go, you’ll fit right in.
• OK, the real main event for the boys is the Dance on the Pier, a giant outdoors dance party on the Hudson River. There’s usually a surprise performer who comes out and does a number at the end of the party. If you want to send any gay into a tizzy between now and Sunday, tell them you heard Lady Gaga is going to be at the Pier Dance.
• Seriously, every gay bar is going to be packed all weekend, so if you want a festive good time, just go to your neighborhood homo watering hole. Just watch out though, because you may walk yourself square into a theme party and not have anything to wear!
• While watching the parade, every float will basically be either a gay group (charitable, social, activist, religious, or otherwise) or a a bunch of men wearing little clothing and lots of body glitter. No matter which of the two these are, they will be dancing to one of the same three dance remixes—probably Gaga. Once you’ve heard “Bad Romance” for the fiftieth time, feel free to take revenge by using the little “Gaga at the Pier Dance” trick we just taught you.
• If you’re going to come to an event, even the parade, you need to work a look. Straight girls, you better not leave the house looking all half-assed, because there will be a ton of semi-drunk professional stylists walking around and they will want to read you (and if you don’t know what reading is, please Netflix Paris Is Burning before going to Pride). Do your makeup, shave your legs, paint your toes, and then dress! But not too much, you don’t need anyone thinking you’re a drag queen. Boys, you’ll be fine, as long as you’re hot. And if you are, you should take your shirt off. If being an objectified piece of beef is the one thing you do for your gay neighbors all year, that is enough. And if you really want to drive them wild, wear a harness.
• And that goes in reverse. Never, ever, ever, ever tell a drag queen that you can do hair and makeup better than she can, even if she is wearing a ratty wig and some globby pancake makeup over two days of beard. You probably have better makeup skills, but they are way more vicious, and they will make you cry. Even at Pride.
• Yes, we know all the lesbians look like Justin Bieber. Stop telling us.
• The first places where gay people could freely congregate were bars and still, to this day, most Pride celebrations are bar centric. Just because we want to hang out at a place that is overly decorated with rainbow banners and has hot shirtless straight boys slinging drinks doesn’t mean that we’re a bunch of drunks. Don’t judge us.
• Girls, we love having you in gay bars, even when it is super crowded and we’re trying to get laid. Just one rule. No shrieking! This is Gay Pride, not a bachelorette party. And nothing makes a gay’s testicles retract back into their body like drunk girls screaming.
• Also, ladies, don’t show your support by making out with another straight girl. This isn’t a frat party. However, if a dyke on a bike calls you her bitch and tries to jam her tongue down your throat, you’d better let her.
• Straight guys, if you want to make out with another dude, especially for the first time, this is completely acceptable—especially if you’re hot.
• Oh, guys. If you see anyone that you want to remotely have sex with, it’s either a fag hag or a drag queen. They will both flirt back with you, just make sure you know which is which, because one has a “surprise.”
• For the last time, they are not “assless chaps.” All chaps are inherently assless, so saying “assless chaps” is as redundant as saying “fingerless mittens.” If you see some guy with a pasty, hairy, tush waddling around in a pair, just say “Ew!” and point. That’s what the gays do.
• Lots of lesbians have children, whether from adoption, sperm donors, or previous relationships. Do not mess with the lesbians’ children. If you think regular Park Slope mothers are vicious when it comes to their kids, you don’t even want to find out what happens when you get between a lesbian and her cubs. Also, gay men treat their little dogs like children, so be careful of them too. Yes, it’s stupid, but it’s our only choice. Don’t judge us.
• If you go to any sort of Gay Pride dance party and someone puts a bottle under your nose, do not inhale. These are poppers and they are a secret gay elixir. We don’t want straight people knowing how good they are, so please don’t try them. The last thing we need is a shortage of Rush thanks to you guys!
• We know you want to show your support, but no rainbows. Not on hats, pins, necklaces, leis, or boas. They’re good enough for flags and decorations, but actually adorning one’s body with a rainbow is just tacky. Trust us.
• The soundtrack for the day is stereotypical gay jams: Madonna, Indigo Girls, house anthems, Melissa Etheridge, Katy Perry, Beyoncé. Steel yourself.
• Remember, this day is all about the gays. It’s like you’re a Red Sox fan at Yankee Stadium. You need to just go along with what’s happening. Even if you don’t like it or get uncomfortable, take a deep breath and try to fit in. Every other day of the year is Straight Pride Day, and today, you play by our rules.
• Feel free to stare. That’s what Pride is all about. And if we were ashamed, we wouldn’t be out in public like this in the first place!

Project Runway’s Jack Mackenroth wants to be a positive role model.

It was three years ago this month that I started taping Season 4 of Project Runway at Parsons School of Design in New York. I was scared shitless but I knew it would be a life-changing journey regardless of the outcome. Reality TV is anything but “real.” It’s heavily controlled by the producers to make the best TV possible. When we filled out our initial 50-page application to be on the show, we were asked if there was any aspect of our lives that we would not discuss on camera. I answered, “no.” At the time, I had been living with HIV for 18 years and was very open about it so I knew it would be a topic of interest. But I didn’t go into the show thinking, “I’m going to be the HIV+ guy” and I had no idea what impact my disclosure would have. However, in the back of my mind, I knew I could help others living with HIV by showing that it’s possible to live a happy, successful life while managing HIV.

I had been living in New York and designing for 17 years at that point and considered my HIV status an afterthought since I had been dealing with it for so long. I didn’t foresee the ripple effect that talking about it on television would have. I also never envisioned the international impact my disclosure would have as my season of Runway aired in more than 20 countries. (I’m currently getting Facebook messages from Budapest!)

However, the positive response was almost immediate. The show producers handled it well and my status was disclosed on the second episode of the season. Tim Gunn was extremely supportive. I know from the messages and e-mails I receive that I have helped many people around the world by just being one face of HIV. My hope is to inspire others to deal with their own status and to be open and fight the stigma of HIV for all of us. I am proud to be a current HIV+ poster boy. I encourage others to come forward and stand with me. Prevention remains paramount but for those who are already living with HIV, we need to take good care of ourselves—and each other.    N


Jack Mackenroth is a New York-based designer and HIV/AIDS educator. Visit JackMackenroth.com for more info.

For Jack Mackenroth, working with photographer Andrew Werner is a perfect symbiotic relationship.  A decisive and quick thinker, Werner works to produce quality, stylized and relevant photographs. He knows what he wants and has an amazing eye for what ‘works’ and what doesn’t.

“Andrew is one of the nicest, easiest photographers to work with,” says Mackenroth. “Since I just turned 41, honestly, I don’t know how many more photo shoots I have left in me so it’s always great to work with someone you know and get along with. He understands about the importance of lighting someone who isn’t 21 anymore. It also helps that he has nice things to say about me, too.”

“Everyone knows that Jack Mackenroth has great style,” expressed Andrew. ”So naturally when I arrived at our shoot, I was eager to see what the stylist had selected. After Jack tried on  several outfits, he then, in perfectly witty ‘Jack style’ asked me,  Clothes on or off? I instantly knew this would be a fun few hours. Our plan was to capture drama, depth and beauty. Jack’s open, vibrant personality led him to comfortably run around half-naked; which gave me a great opportunity to share the different sides of one man with the rest of the world.”

“My vision was to capture Jack’s unique essence and energy through my lens; a man who has not only been HIV-positive for over 20 years, but a man who is a sex symbol, and more importantly a role model for the entire gay community.”

It goes without saying, then, that Mackenroth and Werner make a great team and produce some of the best work together. Mackenroth added,” As a designer myself it’s a leap of faith for me to hand over creative control to someone else. With Andrew it was cool because he allowed me to help edit the photos and be a part of the entire creative process.”
Jack is currently producing a web series called The Queens of Drag: NYC which will launch on Gay.com in September. He is also working on 2 other TV projects and writing his memoir which will be out this Christmas. You can find more information about him at Jackmackenroth.com and follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/jackmackenroth

Find out more about Andrew Werner at andrewwererphotography.com

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Original article for the Paly Voice HERE.

by Hana Kajimura of Viking

Creative Commons: cliff1066

“Magic took AIDS out of the closet and put it on the kitchen table,” Roy Johnson said. “He made it comfortable, or at least more comfortable to talk about.”

The crowd rises to its feet as a purple 32 flashes past the scorer’s table. On January 30, 1996, Earvin “Magic” Johnson makes his reappearing act with nine minutes and 39 seconds remaining in the first quarter. After missing his first shot, Magic makes an assist for a three, sinks a right-handed runner, and then posts up for a left-handed hook. Los Angeles Lakers lead by 11. With four minutes left in the first quarter, Magic pump-fakes a pass past Golden State Warrior Latrell Spreewell for an easy lay-up. In 27 minutes, Magic scores 19 points, with 10 assists and eight rebounds, leading the Lakers to a 128-118 victory over the Warriors. As the game ends with the ball in his hands, he pumps his fist and flashes a 100-watt smile. The Magic is back.

He may have been five years older and 30 pounds heavier, but the Magic who entered the game in January of 1996 played with the same heart as the Magic who left it on Nov. 7th, 1991. Only five years earlier, Earvin “Magic” Johnson announced his immediate retirement from the Los Angeles Lakers after contracting HIV, through unprotected sex with women. With little information and little understanding about HIV, many feared for Magic’s life, let alone his career. So, Magic did what no one expected when he took the court against the Warriors; he was living with HIV, not dying of AIDS.

“You can give athletes as many statistics as you want,” Phil Taylor of Sports Illustrated said in a recent interview with The Viking, “but it wouldn’t have the same effect as seeing Magic Johnson healthy and strong, as they see him now. That’s the proof. Magic’s not only surviving, but he’s thriving.”

AIDS: THE BIG PICTURE

With the exception of in high profile cases like Magic Johnson’s, the subject of HIV does not come up very often in the world of sports, but it should. Magic made his announcement in the early 90’s when many students at Palo Alto High School were just beginning their lives. As we grew up, so did the world’s knowledge about HIV prevention and treatment. As Palo Altans, we still thought that AIDS was remote. Magic showed us that HIV was here, in our arenas and courts.

HIV/AIDS affects men and women, gay and straight, San Franciscans and Africans, adults and children, drug users and athletes. HIV positive athletes today strengthen immune systems by staying active. They also help tear down stigma on and off the court by showing that AIDS is no longer a disease for “those people”; it is our disease. Those with HIV, especially athletes, face increased discrimination, raising questions about disclosure.

The Viking was also interested in how the issue of HIV would be handled in the setting of a high school athletic program like Paly’s. Over the course of eight months, The Viking held exclusive interviews with the Lakers team physician in 1991, the reporters who broke Magic’s story and a number of athletes living and playing with HIV.

THE MAGIC NUMBER, 1991

Before Magic’s press conference in 1991, AIDS was someone else’s disease, a disease for gay males and drug users. AIDS was not for someone like Magic, a heterosexual National Basketball Association (NBA) superstar at the peak of his career. Suddenly, AIDS became everyone’s disease.

Magic represents the changing face of AIDS in the early 90’s, when the tipping point changed from dying of AIDS to living with HIV due to advances in antiretroviral drugs.

“People just thought that with HIV, death was imminent,” Taylor said.

Dr. Michael Mellman, the Laker’s team physician at the time, sidelined Magic when the diagnosis was made.

“We just had to evaluate him and see what was going to happen,” Dr. Mellman said. “He needed to be evaluated and treatment initiated. In that era, we still had to understand the nature and the serverity of the diease, and excessive exercise could have been detrimental.”

Newspapers and magazines began “gathering string” for obituaries. Athletes ran from the press conference crying while others remember not being able to breathe.

For the most part, they were right to be scared for Magic. Twenty years ago, the prognosis for those with HIV was grim. Few treatment options existed, and even those did not stop the progression from HIV to AIDS. Death seemed inevitable in a few months or a few years.

In an interview with The Viking in March, Roy Johnson, editor of Men’s Fitness Magazine, recounted this fear. A longtime friend of Magic’s, Roy Johnson interviewed the NBA star and detailed the story from Magic’s point of view in a special edition of Sports Illustrated.

“People didn’t know whether they could hug him,” Roy Johnson said. “They didn’t know whether they could eat next to him, they didn’t know what would happen if he breathed on them, or if they could sit in a car next to him. He faced much of the same discrimination that other people with HIV faced.”

A few NBA players, such as Karl Malone of the Utah Jazz, were outspoken about their desire for Magic to leave the league. Regardless of who said what, everyone felt that retirement was not the best option, but the only option for Magic, out of fear for his health and for their own.

“I think he still wanted to play, and he was still capable of playing,” Roy Johnson said, “But it was too much to bear thinking that every time he got cut, the entire arena might gasp.”

AWAY FROM THE HEADLINES

I was born in 1991. It was also the year of the Rodney King Riots in Los Angeles, CA, the year the U.S. warred with Iraq to end of the Gulf War, the year the Minnesota Twins battled the Atlanta Braves to win the World Series, and the year Bill Clinton campaigned against George Bush Sr. for the presidency.

Away from the headlines, millions around the world fought a losing battle against the new pandemic: AIDS.

Magic Johnson shocked the world that year with his announcement. Off-screen, the world began trying to cope with a global disease. In 1991, someone died of AIDS every eight minutes. The World Health Organization (WHO) projected that by the year 2000, 40 million people would be infected with HIV.

But AIDS was not an issue for me, or for Palo Alto. In 1991, the seniors that I will be graduating with were just learning to roll over. Statistics show, however, that people around me in 1991 were living with HIV. Since 1983, 2,119 people have died of AIDS in Santa Clara County, while another 2,046 are still living with AIDS.

Africa faces an entirely different reality: dying with AIDS. When I was 13, I went to Ethiopia on a trip sponsored by the Packard Foundation. I saw kids who were sick and parents who were dying. At one rural youth center, a sea of dusty blue and green uniformed children, and a hundred pairs of eyes welcomed me. Each of the children had lost a family member, a friend, or a neighbor to AIDS.

All my life, headlines had told me that AIDS was a disease for someone else. After that visit, AIDS became more personal. What I saw in Ethiopia taught me that AIDS was for women, for children, for married couples. In Sub-Saharan Africa, AIDS is largely contracted through mother-to-child transmission and unprotected heterosexual sex. According to the US Census Bureau in 2003, 12 percent of pregnant women in Ethiopia were HIV positive with little access to treatment or hope of survival.

AIDS MEANS SOMEONE ELSE

Fast forward. Here at Palo Alto High School, graduation of the class of 2010 is a week away. AIDS is still just a red ribbon. HIV is taught among a handful of other STD’s in a Living Skills sexual education unit.

On Paly’s courts and fields, there is no policy or plan of action in place regarding student athletes who have HIV/AIDS. Paly Athletic Director Earl Hansen says he knows of no such policy. Central Coast Section (CCS) and California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) have no specific policies regarding HIV, CCS Commissioner Nancy Blaser said in an email.

In Paly athletics, AIDS still means someone else.

“I would be stunned if I found out that someone on one of my sports teams was HIV positive,” Boys’ varsity soccer forward and varsity lacrosse middie Kris Hoglund (‘12) said.

Girls’ varsity lacrosse middie and varsity basketball guard Lauren Mah (‘10) agrees.

“I would be in a daze that HIV could really hit so close to home,” Mah said.

Maybe Paly should not be so shocked. Though they may be few and far between, high school students with HIV are not unheard of.

Swimmer Jack Mackenroth with various medals from the Gay Games

“Of course there are HIV positive athletes in high school, of course there are,” Jack Mackenroth, 41, an HIV positive swimmer in New York, said. “There are 1.1 million HIV positive people living in the United States. Nearly a quarter of them don’t know it yet.”

Current statistics suggest that Mackenroth’s assumption is correct. According to the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), there were 1,392 reported cases of 13-19 year old Californians living with HIV as of September 30, 2009. Approximately half of all new adult HIV infections occur in 15-24 year olds.

“Teenagers are sexually active, and they think that they are invincible,” Mackenroth said. “You have to realize that I was only 20 when I got HIV, so I wasn’t that far out of high school.”

WHO TO TELL? THE DISCLOSURE ISSUE

While Mackenroth is living proof that HIV can affect young athletes, many students in the Paly community cannot identify with the possibility of infection.

“I’d want to know why and how the hell he got it,” varsity wrestler Jack Sakai (‘10) said. “How many people do you know at Paly with HIV?”

Good question. Without mandatory disclosure, HIV positive athletes face a decision about sharing their HIV status. Francis Broome, 35, an HIV positive basketball player in San Francisco, recalls that disclosure is not easy for fear of discrimination.

“It’s like coming out all over again,” Broome said. “You lose some people in the process. Your feelings can get trampled on if you don’t develop a thick coat quickly.”

While disclosure of HIV status is a gamble, being open and honest about HIV can send a powerful message.

“I can count on one hand the number of celebrities or public figures who are open about their HIV status,” Mackenroth said. As a contestant on BRAVO’s Project Runway in 2007, Mackenroth used his elevated visibility to bring the discussion of HIV and AIDS into millions of household living rooms.

“I was happy to take on the role of the HIV positive poster boy.”

Broome believes that there is far more to gain from honesty and openness when it comes to HIV and AIDS.

“I have told people for various reasons,” Broome said. “To educate, to bond, to allay fears and concerns, so they can put a face to ‘those people’, to teach, to come out of my shell, to help with my own discomfort, to show that it’s just a disease and will not cripple me from living my life.”

The debate about whether or not athletes should disclose their HIV status is far from settled. Magic went public days after he found out, while Olympic diver Greg Louganis came out in his autobiography years after a potentially threatening diving accident at the Seoul Olympics in 1988, in which he hit his head on the diving board.

WHEN PLAYING MEANS BLOOD

At Paly, administration, coaches and athletes alike advocate full disclosure, but for different reasons.

“I don’t believe there is a law that says you have to [disclose HIV], but there should be,” Paly Athletic Director Earl Hansen said.

Hansen’s stance is largely fueled by his concern for student athletes.

“They could be a danger to anyone,” Hansen said. “I don’t know if you can keep something that serious a secret. How would you feel if you had an open wound and you were wrestling somebody and they were HIV positive but you didn’t know it? Then you caught it. How are you going to feel?”

Others in Paly’s community of student athletes echo Hansen’s opinion.

“If someone on my team had HIV, I would really want to know who it was,” varsity wrestler Joey Christopherson (‘12) said. “I would not feel comfortable wrestling someone with HIV.”

Sakai, a teammate of Christopherson’s, feels the same way.

“I’d avoid drilling with that guy altogether,” Sakai said. “In wrestling, it’s not rare to see blood being shed, even at practice.”

In wrestling, bloody noses, scratches, and cuts from shoes and headgear are seldom cause for alarm. Even so, Golden Gate Wrestling Club coach Gene Dermody, 61, notes that fear and misinformation still create a fog around HIV positive athletes. Over the last 30 years, Dermody has coached many HIV positive wrestlers though he himself is HIV negative.

“Homophobia is rapidly dying a quick death in this new generation,” Dermody said. “But HIV fears are still there and in many cases, warranted.”

HIV positive athletes also worry about putting their competitors at risk.

“There were the occasional ‘what if’s’ that came to my mind,” Broome said. “What if I got injured and bled during a game?”

Athletic competitions at all levels and across most sports have regulations that immediately remove athletes from the game if they draw blood. Since the AIDS virus is most commonly transmitted in athletics through blood-to-blood contact, sports with the highest risk of transmission include wresting, boxing and rugby. In other sports, such as soccer or basketball, transmission is a lot less likely. A basketball player’s risk of contracting AIDS from incidental touching is 1 in 85 million, according to the Center for Disease Control. Additionally, HIV transmission through sport poses a significantly smaller risk of infection compared to ringworm or other skin diseases.

PLAYING HARD, PLAYING SAFE

HIV positive athletes are not only concerned with the health of their competitors, but also with their own.

One Sunday morning in May, Chuck Louden, 48, and the PosPeds team were riding at the Russian River when it began to rain. About a quarter of the cyclists decided to pedal back to San Francisco; the rest ended their ride.

“The riding conditions are not that great,” Louden said. “I don’t want to get sick. My immune system isn’t as strong as everybody else’s. I certainly want to be a part of the game, and exercise and work out, but I’ve also got to take precautions. Today it’s raining, and it’s not worth getting sick. HIV has taught me that I’m number one. I come first.”

Despite any added risk, sports are a better option than the alternative.

“I’d rather be out peddling with my friends or running with my running group than sitting in a meeting where people are smoking cigarettes and complaining that they’re getting sick,” Louden said. “You have to stick with the winners.”

POSITIVE PROGRESS

Since that autumn day in 1991 when Magic stood at the podium and shook the sports world with his HIV announcement, much has changed. Protocol is now in place about injuries and blood in athletic competitions; physicians have become experts on effective treatments; and laws protect the rights of those living with HIV/AIDS. Athletes like Magic Johnson and Chuck Louden provide examples of positive approaches to living and competing with HIV.

“Fifteen to 20 years ago, people felt sorry for us,” Louden said. “I was always really clear that I did not want people feeling sorry for me. I didn’t feel sorry for myself, and I didn’t want to be an object of pity.”

HIV is not a sure death sentence for an athlete anymore; it is an obstacle that is no longer a reason to stop playing or to feel excluded.

“I’m not ashamed of having HIV,” Louden said. “Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but I’m not ashamed of it. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

Paly has also come a long way in the last 20 years. Though the school and CCS conference still lack a policy concerning HIV positive athletes, this community has raised its awareness. Attitudes are changing.

“On the field, you’re all just athletes,” Mah said. “You don’t think about who to treat differently because the biggest form of respect is challenging someone to make them stronger.”

Editor’s Note: The quote from Dr. Michael Mellman has been modified in this online version to accurately reflect his opinion of Magic Johnson’s health in the early 1990s.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Hana Kajimura is a newly graduated high school senior from Palo Alto, CA, who will be attending Stanford University in the fall.

She traveled to Ethiopia with the Packard Foundation when she was 13 years old, were she became interested in HIV and AIDS. Upon returning to Palo Alto and noticing that her community didn’t pay any attention to the issue, she held soccer clinics and started a FACE AIDS chapter at her high school to raise money and awareness. As an editor of her high school sports magazine, The Viking, Hana drew the connection between HIV and Sport and decided to write an article about HIV positive athletes in order to spark discussion in her community. “Playing Positive” appeared in the June issue of The Viking.

THE INSPIRATION GALAS to take place in New York, Paris, and Los Angeles; KYLIE MINOGUE to host New York Inspiration Gala on June 3, 2010, at the New York Public Library; RICKY MARTIN and Jean-Paul Gaultier to be honored

Hope to see you there tonight!!! I’m hemming my pants as soon as I’m finished typing.

New York, June 3, 2010—amfAR, The Foundation for AIDS Research will launch the Inspiration Galas, a series of fundraising events celebrating all aspects of men’s style. The series, produced by Josh Wood Productions, will take place in New York, Paris, and Los Angeles.

Kylie Minogue, the international pop star and style icon who is preparing to release her eleventh studio album, will host the inaugural Inspiration Gala at the New York Public Library on Thursday, June 3, 2010.  “I’m honored to join the list of prestigious designers as the host of amfAR’s inaugural Inspiration Gala at the historical New York Public Library and to help raise awareness and funds for AIDS research,” said Ms. Minogue.

Jean-Paul Gaultier and Ricky Martin will be the first recipients of the amfAR Award of Inspiration, presented at the New York Inspiration Gala.  Mr. Gaultier, who will attend both the New York and Paris events, will be honored for his lifetime contributions to menswear design and for his enduring humanitarian spirit.

Mr. Martin will be honored for his extensive philanthropic endeavors through the Ricky Martin Foundation, including constant advocacy for the health and welfare of children around the globe and recent rebuilding efforts in Haiti.  “I’ve been looking forward to this special night since amfAR first reached out to me a few months ago,” said Mr. Martin. “Their pioneering research has been a key factor in nearly eliminating the transmission of AIDS to infants at birth, and I strongly believe that amfAR’s continued research, prevention and treatment efforts are an essential part of the continued fight to help people at risk throughout the world.”

Grammy-winning singer and rapper Estelle will perform a special DJ set during the runway show, and will debut her new single as part of the set.

The Inspiration Galas will revolve around a new style theme each year: The 2010 design theme is “Black Tie/Black Leather.”  Global leaders in menswear design, including Band of Outsiders, Neil Barrett, John Bartlett, Michael Bastian, Bess, Bottega Veneta, Thom Browne, Richard Chai, Kenneth Cole, Dolce & Gabanna, DSquared, Tom Ford, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Robert Geller, Tim Hamilton, Hugo Boss, Marc Jacobs, Calvin Klein Collection, Karl Lagerfeld, Ralph Lauren, Rick Owens, Prada, Trussardi, Viktor & Rolf, Y3, and Yves Saint Laurent, will present their inspirations in runway shows in New York and Los Angeles. Simon Doonan will then lead an auction of the designer runway items, with proceeds to benefit amfAR.  A formal dinner will follow, featuring the presentations of the amfAR Award of Inspiration.

The Paris Inspiration Gala will be held on June 25, 2010, and Los Angeles event will be held in October 2010.

amfAR, The Foundation for AIDS Research is one of the world’s leading nonprofit organizations dedicated to the support of AIDS research, HIV prevention, treatment education, and the advocacy of sound AIDS-related public policy. Since 1985, amfAR has invested more than $307 million in its programs and has awarded grants to more than 2,000 research teams worldwide.

For tickets, please contact David Yu at amfAR: (212) 806-1615 or david.yu@amfar.org

An excerpt from her most recent post is below.

Sneaky Hate Spiral

Most of the time, I’m pretty even-tempered.  Aside from the odd nervous breakdown or caffeine-induced bliss-seizure, I have the emotional variation of sand.  However, every once in a great while, I’ll lapse into what I like to call a “sneaky hate spiral.”

The buildup:

Sneaky hate spirals begin simply enough.  In fact, that is one of the hallmarks of sneaky hate spirals – they are merely the confluence of many unremarkable annoyances.

Your day begins poorly.

Eventually, the sum of the small annoyances begins to exceed your capacity for patience and rational thought.  All it would take to send you over the edge into a bottomless pit of angry hysteria is just one more tiny, little thing…

The turning point:

The turning point is usually a minor but slightly jarring incident, initiated by some force of nature that cannot be blamed or scolded – like gravity or sleeplessness or wind.  That last specification is very important.  In order to send you into truly batshit crazy hysterics, the final straw must cause anger that cannot rationally be directed outward in any way.

Alexander Foxworth

An inspiring Facebook post by Alexander Foxworth. Link back to his post here.

It’s late.
I am watching the clock as midnight gets closer and closer.

Every year on the 25th of May, I get “anxious”, for lack of better words over this date, due to a major event that changed my life forever in 1995.

It’s the words that no one ever wants to hear.

No matter how much one may ponder the subject and think of what they would do when hearing a certain phrase, facing a certain event, or put in an uncomfortable situation, one never knows, truly, how he/she would act when the moment arrives.

It was May 25th, 1995 that I had to learn this the hard way.

I was living in Charlotte, NC and was doing well.

I’ve always been one to try and help others within my means, so I used to give blood and plasma on a frequent basis.

I remember shortly before the 25th, I went to a local plasma center, close to my neighborhood, and went through the “normal routine” of questions and forms to fill out before donating.

The nurse was such a kind-hearted and intelligent lady, who called me “green eyes”, which just made me smile and eased my nervousness, since I had, on occasion, gotten fairly nauseous when donating plasma. She put me at ease and I was all set.

Everything went according to plan and, surprisingly, I didn’t feel any nausea. I walked out, beaming, since I knew that I had “done my good deed” for the day.

Just a couple of days later, I received an urgent phone call for me to come back to the center. No reasons were given. Nothing would be discussed via telephone.

My heart pounded and I felt my world beginning to crumble.

Is she going to tell me…?? Am I going to hear what I have fought for so hard to avoid??? So many things ran through my mind.

The next day, the 25th, I walked into the plasma center.

I knew, then and there, I was about to hear what I had been dreading since the telephone call the day before. The reason being is because the staff were above and beyond courteous.

“Are you ok, Mr. Foxworth?”. “Is there anything that you would like to drink or eat?”. “Can we interest you in a good book or magazine, while you wait?”. I felt like I was at a resort…not a plasma center!

Then, the kind-hearted nurse stepped out and asked me to come into her office.

Deep down, I knew what she was about to say. What is so strange about the human mind is that, ALL the way up to the words coming out of her mouth, I thought I knew how I would handle this.

Boy, was I so wrong.

I sat at a small desk in a small office…feeling quite edgy and just wanting to get this over with.

She grabbed her clipboard that had my file attached, looked at me and finally said the words that I had dreaded for so many years: “Mr. Foxworth, my dear ‘green eyes’…I don’t know how to say this.”. Tears started forming in her eyes and then it came out: “I’m so, so sorry, but you have tested positive for the HIV virus.”.

There are no words that I could ever say or write to describe the flood of emotion that fills one up inside when confronted with those words and one’s own mortality.

Before I knew it, I had collapsed across her desk and sobbed like I had never sobbed in my entire life…and that is putting it mildly.

For years, I had friends and even boyfriends, who were positive and I always thought that if it happened to me, I would be sad, but would be strong and handle it with ease.

Unless someone, unfortunately, walks in these shoes, NO ONE can ever say how they would truly act.

After I composed myself, wrapped in this nurse’s arms, I walked out of the center.

Naturally, as if in a movie, we had a downpour. I had my tears flowing as I drove back home along with the rain on my windshield. I’m actually amazed that I even made it home, considering all things combined.

From that point, my mind went numb.

I went into a “dark space”, which I hope to never go into again.

I slept all day. Drank my sorrows away at night. Basically, ceased to live from that point on.

I just existed.

Then, a few months later, I was going to a small club called Oleen’s, which has since closed, and proceeded to do my nightly ritual of wallowing in sorrow, feel sorry for myself, and get as drunk as humanly possible.

A stranger. Someone whom I had never seen before, approached me at the bar and, without me even saying a WORD, seemed to already sense what was going on with me.

He leant in and just bluntly asked “So, you got ‘the news’,eh?”.

I was stunned!

HOW did he know?

Was I THAT obvious???

I looked at him through drunken tears and just nodded.

He then wrapped his arm around my shoulder and said “I’m going to ask you ONE question that I really want you to think about.”.

Not knowing this guy and being in the condition that I was in, I was somewhat wary, but was SO desperate for any sort of comfort, I just looked at him and said “Ok.”.

Then, with his ONE question, he changed my life forever: “Are you LIVING with HIV or are you DYING from HIV? That is what you need to ask yourself. The rest will fall into place.”.

I was dumbfounded.

Such simple words, yet SO powerful and it felt as if a ton of bricks had hit me in the head.

I WAS alive.

I WAS breathing.

I WAS…here!

Since that night, I have never looked back in self pity.

I appreciate every single day that I wake up.

I appreciate every friend that I’ve made and the ones that I continue to make.

I don’t just look at a sunrise/sunset and think “Oh, that’s nice.”, but actually STOP and look in awe at the beauty in this world that so many of us take for granted.

IN a strange way, HIV helped me to become a better person. To appreciate the little things in life that we see every single day, yet don’t REALLY notice them, unless we are confronted with some type of bad situation.

We are all a work in progress and I am, by no means, a “perfect man”. But, I have become a BETTER man.

With anything in life, one has two choices: to let the situation control YOU or YOU control the situation. It’s all about inner strength and the will to survive.

Yes, it’s sad that it took HIV for me to realize so many things that I should have already learned, but I am thankful that I did, indeed, finally realize them.

All I can say to those out there who may be dealing with the same situation, is to remember that same question: “Are you LIVING with HIV or are you DYING from it?”.

My wish, of course, is that there WAS no HIV or, at least, that there was a cure. I haven’t give up hope and never will, but, until that day, I must continue to remind myself that I am sitting here LIVING and will continue to fight this battle all the way to the end.

So, today, May 25th, 2010, it is now 15 years since that day.

My, how time goes by so quickly.

However, if I have anything to do with it, I will be around in 15 MORE years to continue to tell my tale, in hopes of helping at least ONE person realize that there IS life after an HIV diagnosis.

I am living proof.

So, CHEERS to life.

May The Higher Being bless all of you and, in my heart of hearts, I hope that no one has to go through what I went through that day.

However, IF you do, PLEASE remember that it is NOT the end of the world and life WILL go on. It may not seem like it in the beginning, but, trust me, the light WILL come on in time.

Thank you to all who have read my story.

If I have touched just ONE person from this, then it was all worthwhile.

Much love and best wishes to everyone…
Xander

PS/ WEAR A DAMN CONDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!